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Studia Ełckie
|
2022
|
vol. 24
|
issue 4
489-500
EN
The purpose of this paper is to analyze the personal maturity significance for the relation between the daughter-in-law and the parents-in-law. The analysis allows us to show what criteria a good daughter-in-law should fulfill. The author applies the analytic-synthetic method to analyze the available literature. The work resolves to investigate the relations between the children-in-law and the parents-in-law as these relations are essential for the intergenerational family’s functioning. As a framework for the research, the author uses the Zdzisław Chlewiński’s personal maturity theory (1991), which emphasizes the significance of constant self-improvement. Chlewiński specifies three criteria for personal maturity: having a personal attitude towards the other man, autonomy, and an insight into oneself. Research results: the more the daughter-in-law is characterized by her personal attitudes towards other people, her own autonomy, and her good insight into herself, the better and more mature she will be, and the more she will contribute to the good relations within an intergenerational family.
EN
Communication in the relationship of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may pose in many families some serious difficulties. The aim of this article is to present the results of a study involving mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. In this study varies aspects of this relationship were investigated, but in the present article only the results concerning communication are reported on. In total, 53 daughters-in-law and 29 mothers-in-law participated in the study. The research method involved questionnaires and in-depth interviews. The interview results were subjected to a detailed analysis of the four types of difficulties in communication identified in the research materials: geographical barriers, forms of address, conflict avoidance and discussions on difficult issues, and communication via son/husband. The research results showed that the key obstacles in communications between the mothers-in-law and the daughters-in-law were a lack of willingness to talk openly, avoidance of certain topics and not dealing directly with certain issues.
PL
W niniejszym opracowaniu rolę teściów analizowano w świetle teorii rozwoju psychospołecznego Erika Eriksona. Początek roli teściów przypada na czas średniej dorosłości. Zgodnie z teorią Eriksona na tym etapie człowiek musi zmierzyć się z kryzysem generatywność− stagnacja. Przyjęto, że rola teściów może stanowić przyczynę tego kryzysu. Rola ta zakłada wywiązanie się z następujących zadań: dostosowania się do mniejszego wpływu na relacje rodzinne, zaakceptowaniem zięcia (synowej) w rodzinie (czyli osoby obcej w sensie więzów krwi), roztropnego zaangażowania w wychowanie wnuków, poradzenia sobie z ewentualną niewdzięcznością ze strony młodszych pokoleń. Podkreślono, że rola teściów może być trudniejsza dla kobiet, przede wszystkim w kwestii wypracowania postawy dystansu i ograniczenia komunikacji „nie wprost”. Odnosząc się do teorii Eriksona można stwierdzić, że przyjęcie i późniejsza realizacja roli teściów przychodzi łatwiej tym osobom, które świadomie zdecydują się wychowywać przyszłe pokolenia.
EN
In this paper author analyses the role of parents-in-law in the light of Erik Ericson’s theory on psychosocial development. The beginning of the parents- in-law role starts in the second stage of adulthood. During this stage one confronts the generativity-stagnation crisis. It is assumed that the parents-in-law role is the ground for the crisis. This role includes: adaptation to smaller influence on family relations, accepting the son-in-law (daughter-in-law), raising the grand-children, and accepting a possible lack of gratitude from the side of the children. It is emphasized that the process may be more difficult for women. Author concludes that a role of a parent-in-law is easier for these people who deliberately decide to raise next generations.
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