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EN
The article deals with experiencing grief by children - a rarely undertaken topic in our culture. Children and death are the notions which seem to be very distant. One stands for the beginning and the other – the end. However, one cannot prevent a child from a loss situation. Children experience grief more often that we would expect. Many adults try to separate the child from experiencing grief, but it is not the right attitude. Some adults think that painful experiences which are not discussed stop existing. But this is not so. One can move the feelings away for a while, although it may have a very negative influence on the future life. Not being able to separate children and teenagers from loss experiences there is one possibility – we can determine the way we will help them to cope with loss. Neglecting this responsibility, we leave them alone with the secret of life and death, with the fear of death, with the loss of someone who loved them and who was loved by them. The paper shows the way children experience loss depending on the development stage they are at, what behaviours and emotions accompany the loss and what help should be given by parents, foster-parents, teachers and tutors to “tame” longing for the deceased.
PL
Artykuł dotyka rzadko podejmowanego w naszej kulturze tematu jakim jest sposób przeżywania straty przez dzieci. Dzieci i śmierć – to terminy, które wydają się nam bardzo odległe. Jedno oznacza początek, a drugie koniec. Nie można dzieciom jednak oszczędzić sytuacji straty. Okazji do doświadczania przez nie żałoby jest więcej, niż może się nam wydawać. Wielu dorosłych próbuje oddzielić dziecko od przeżywania żałoby, nie jest to jednak droga właściwa. Niektórzy dorośli myślą, że bolesne doświadczenia, o których się nie mówi, przestają istnieć. Tak nie jest. Można na chwilę odsunąć uczucia, ale wpływ tego na dalsze życie może być bardzo zły. Nie mogąc oddzielać dzieci i młodzieży od doświadczeń straty mamy jedną drogę, możemy określić sposób w jaki pomożemy im radzić sobie ze stratą. Lekceważąc ten obowiązek, zostawiamy je sam na sam z tajemnicą życia i śmierci, ze strachem przed śmiercią, ze stratą kogoś, kto je kochał i kogo one darzyły uczuciem. Artykuł pokazuje jak dzieci przeżywają stratę w zależności od etapu rozwoju na którym się znajdują, jakie towarzyszą temu zachowania i emocje oraz jaka powinna być adekwatna pomoc świadczona przez rodziców, opiekunów, nauczycieli i wychowawców, tak by młodzi ludzie mogli „oswoić” swoją tęsknotę za zmarłym.
2
80%
EN
An orphaned child, who has no more opportunity for growth and development in its biological family, is often sent to an orphanage, or another residential institution devoted to this type of care. Children who in the beginning of their childhood are raised in these institutions do not always have a chance for good development because places like this are not always able to meet the children’s most important needs. Institutional upbringing often only consists of meeting their basic needs such as proper hygiene and providing food, but this is not enough to promote a proper physical, social or cognitive development of any child. For a proper development, the child psychological needs need to be satisfied and this is required for its well-being. These can only be maintained by providing security, love, belonging and an emotional contact with another person. All these needs can only be provided and guaranteed by a healthy family environment. For an orphaned child, the lack of its own family can only be compensated by an adoptive family. Adoption is the best form of care whereby a family assumes the parenting for another and, in so doing, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities, along with fi liation, from the biological parents. Adoptive families are the closest in its form to a biological family, and should be the most valued mean of tackling the problem of orphaned children in our society.
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